FCC: No Cell Phones In Flight

 
THANK YOU!
 
The FCC yesterday said it will not change the current rules requiring that cell phones remain OFF during airline flights.
 
(cue APPLAUSE)
 
Officially, the FCC tells us that the decision is rooted in technology, as they are unable to determine if the wireless signals from cell phones in use on planes would interfere with the control and command of an airplane.
 
My feeling is that even if the technology comes to pass whereby it is safe to make calls from planes, the concept should be grounded now, before it gets a chance to take off.
 
The thought of sitting next to someone who has nothing to do but talk for 2 or 3 hours or — heaven forbid — a 5–6 hour coast to coast jaunt is enough to make me bring a parachute with me as a carry-on.
 
Imagine sitting next to a harried businessman for several hours of:
 
“Dammit Smith! I needed the numbers on the Acme account yesterday! You’re all incompetent…! Stewardess! Where’s my drink! Smith, I said NOW!!!!”
 
Stuck next to a teenager?
 
“Ohmigod! Did you hear about Becky and Bobby? Well Britney and Billy were all, you know, and Bentley and Barney were like, uh-huh... and.. what? Who? That’s soooooo Fetch!”
 
And of course there’s the inevitable:
 
“Guess where I’m calling you from?”
“Wow! We Just flew over Macho Grande!” and
“I miss you honey-bunny…”
 
Reminds me of that series of scenes in Airplane! (the movie) where everyone who Ted Striker ends up sitting with ends up offing themselves (noose, gun, sword, pouring gas on themselves…)
 
I hope that they never allow cell phones to be used when the plane is in flight. That encroachment into my already crowded personal space would be too much to bear.
 
Over Macho Grande?
 
I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande…
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