Recently in Personal and Humor Category

Every Day Heroes

November 5, 2007 12:51 PM | 1 Comment
There are many kinds of heroes in this world. There are the police and firefighters that save lives every day at their own personal peril. Of course, there are the brave men and women service serving in the U.S. military. But how often do we encounter a firefighter saving us from a burning building or a policeman saving us from some dastardly criminal. Many of us can go our entire lives without encountering heroic policemen or firefighters. There are however, "every day" heroes that "save" us just about every single day. You know them as the IT Guy (or IT Gal).

As an IT Guy myself, and a current Microsoft TechNet subscriber to boot, I've enjoyed playing the role of techie superhero over the years - coming to the rescue of many coworkers, family, and friends.

But all joking aside, with the U.S. Veteran's Day just 6 days away, our young men and women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan have been on my mind lately. Since this is a tech blog, I'm going to keep this as 'apolitical' as possible. However, I came across a tear-jerking, gut-wrenching story about an ambush in Samarra, Iraq that I just had to share. It all started with an article I found on Powerline, which piqued my interest:

Six weeks ago in the Iraqi city of Samarra, four paratroopers from the 82nd Airborne Division became the object of a pre-planned, coordinated effort by dozens of al Qaeda. to kidnap and slaughter American soldiers only days before General Petraeus's internationally televised testimony to the U.S. Congress on the state of the war in Iraq. Not all survived -- but those who did fought like heroes, saving each other and preserving the honor of their nation.

This is their story.

From Powerline, I clicked through to The American Spectator article titled The Longest Morning, which shared this "untold" story of American heroism. I don't look at this as a "Ra Ra! Go America!" article by any means. In fact, although they killed many Al-Qaeda in the battle, a few GIs were tragically lost. Some of my fellow Americans believe that 'one' dead American is one too many for this war and that we should get out of Iraq now. The point of this post isn't to start a debate whether we should leave Iraq or stay. I just want to share the true story of my fellow Americans fighting for their lives. They even fought valiantly to prevent Al-Qaeda from capturing the body of a slain GI killed in the battle, which would have been used for propaganda. I can't believe this story wasn't covered by the three major networks - NBC, CBS, or ABC - which is why I'm sharing it here. Take my word for it and spend 5 min reading this article. Whether you are for or against this war you will appreciate what our fellow Americans are experiencing over there.

American GI Dad coming home to little boy After reading about the heroics in Samarra, I now have to amend my previous statement about not encountering "every day" heroes. My fellow American citizens serving in Iraq and Afghanistan are my "every day" heroes!

I salute you with this Youtube video I just found - produced by a 15-year old girl and having nearly 19 million page views. (Preview image to right)

I wish you well, stay safe, and come home soon to the heroes parades you so surely deserve.

Disney World Vacation Photos

October 12, 2007 1:19 PM | 3 Comments
Thought I'd share a few photos from my Disney World vacation that I took with the rest of the Keating clan. Actually, my mother-in-law came as well, so part of the Monegan clan came as well. I must be on my Braveheart kick again using "clan" instead of "family". It is the greatest movie of all time after all. Anyway, click any image for a larger view.

Megan, look out, Stitch is about to bite you! Your pretty blue eye gaze isn't working on him.
(Dad really thinking: I really don't want to have to pay for it if you break it.)


Megan and Dad (me) on a Disney World bus


Megan exploring the tree house in Pooh's Playful Spot


Megan and Dad somewhere in Disney World


Megan, Ladene (mother-in-law), and Dad on Dumbo Ride


Megan, Mom, and Dad at Animal Kingdom Lodge.

Note: Any resemblance to any other VoIP pundit that likes to wear Hawaiian shirts is purely coincidental.

Cape Cod vacation

July 9, 2007 11:28 AM | 4 Comments
Well, I'm back from Cape Cod where I spent the Fourth of July holiday. I did periodically check email via EVDO, but only at our house rental and not the beach. I thought about blogging on the beach and considered snapping a few photos of the ocean and beach to post to the blog, but I decided it was better to just take a mental break from blogging. Hence, you may have noticed an entire week went by without a single blog entry - a record that I believe goes back to when I started blogging in 2004!

In any event, I'm back now. Still have tons of emails to wade through and have to catch up on some other projects, but you should see some serious bloggage in the next few days!

Bloggers Start Young These Days

June 22, 2007 12:40 PM | 2 Comments
Boy, bloggers sure start pretty young these days. Here's my daughter blogging away before she even turned 1 year old. Her first blog looked something like this: "My daddy is the greatest. I enjoy reading his VoIP & Gadgets blog daily. I wish he'd share some of the cool gadget toys he gets with me, but I still love him."

Actually it was more like, "545kklpoim./,/hhgnkuyghj597Y,,78", but I know what she meant.

Megan Keating blogging awayMegan Keating the 1 Year Old BloggerMegan Keating blogging on the laptop

Conan's Apple iPhone Commercial

February 2, 2007 8:59 AM | 1 Comment
Conan O'Brien's show had a funny video talking about all the uses of the much-hyped Apple iPhone and how it can do everything including open a bottle, change TV channels, blow dry your hair, grate cheese, and even function as a prophylactic. Hat tip to VoIPMonitor.net. Check out the funny video.

Back in 1998, TMC had a publication called CTI Magazine which covered the convergence of the Computer and Telephony - or Computer Telephony Integration. At the time, Richard "Zippy" Grigonis worked for Harry Newton's publication CT Magazine, TMC's arch-rival publication. Zippy was like my Newman (Seinfeld's arch-rival). Similar to what I do for TMC Labs, he wrote some reviews and did a good job writing technical articles on CT/CTI.

At one point Zippy called me and said that CT Magazine was interested in hiring me away from TMC. In fact, I recall the conversation went something like this, "Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy." I responded, "I'll never join you. I will never join the dark side!" CTI Magazine eventually became Communications Solutions and then was folded into Internet Telephony Magazine. CT Magazine on the other hand was renamed to Communications Convergence and soon after died.

Zippy, an expert in telecom & VoIP was no longer "zipping" out good quality content for one of our main competitors. I no longer had to worry about a competitor cranking out good detailed & technical articles. Soon after, Zippy went to work for a new VoIP magazine startup called VON Magazine, a direct competitor to Internet Telephony Magazine, and reprised his role as Newman. Jerry Seinfeld: Newman!!


Now Zippy was once again working for one of TMC's main competitors and was once again my counterpart on the opposing side. However, as of a few months ago, Zippy left VON Magazine joined the TMC team and order was restored to the galaxy. Now Jerry and Newman are co-workers - our friendly rivalry was no more.

But all this talk about the history of CTI/CT and how CTI evolved into VoIP reminded me of an interesting article I wrote back in 1998. One of CT Magazine's editors or perhaps Harry Newton himself wrote an article claiming that "CT" (computer telephony) was not the same thing as "CTI". I argued in a follow-up article that people were using the terms CT and CTI interchangeably. In fact, in that 1998 article I wrote a humorous poem - a take off of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" in my Cc: column to illustrate the point.

Although CTI has had its hey-day, and VoIP technology has essentially superseded CTI/CT, I thought my humorous poem was still applicable since CTI Expo is now IT Expo and it's an enjoyable read this holiday season. CT/CTI were essentially the precurors to the ultimate convergence - voice onto the IP network. Enjoy everyone and Merry Christmas!

How The Grinch Stole The I In CTI
With apologies to T.G., the good doctor.

Every I
Down in CTI-ville
Liked CTI a lot…

But the Grinch,
Who lived just south of CTI-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated the I in CTI. The whole I in CTI he despised
Now, please don't ask, "Why?" Many have speculated and surmised.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on right.

It could be, perhaps, that he simply lacked foresight.
But I think now that he had carved out his niche before the nation,
He feared the calls for the realization of integration.


I've heard many theories, why the Grinch hated the I,
Rumor upon rumor across the Internet would fly.
Could it, could it be that his friend named I betrayed him,
Or was it some nasty little troll that did persuade him,
That wherever there is CT, there is no need for integration?
While others theorized that it was the Grinch on that Grassy Knoll,
Calling out for all to hear, CTI is only call control.
And while more conspiracies than who shot Kennedy abounded,
The Grinch cried out, "I hate CTI!" and on a table his fist he pounded.

But most think it was greed that made the Grinch hate the I in CTI,
He was always thinking of himself, always alone when night grew nigh,
For the Grinch was always saying "What about me?" "What about I?"
And so the Grinch thought he had exclusive rights to the letter I.

He could not, would not be integrated into society,
That was something upon which all in CTI-ville would agree,
So one final theory is that the Grinch hated integration,
Because he lived alone, so far removed from civilization.

But whatever the reason, we knew the Grinch hated that word, integration,
And so he set about his mean plan to forever stop its implementation.
He stood there on the eve of CTI Expo, hating all the I's,
Staring down from his hill at them through his tunnel-visioned beady eyes.
And all the while sunlit San Jose shone, for CTI Expo was in town,
The only emotion to be seen on Grinch's face was his big grouchy frown.
From far away you could not see his seething anger, just his one large protruding tooth,
For he knew all the I's down in CTI-ville were busy preparing each exhibit booth.

"And they're preparing for a great show," he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is CTI Expo, the time is growing near."
The Grinch was upset, he fumed, he was really bumming,
"I must find a way to stop CTI Expo from coming!"

And all the CTI men and women would wake bright and early,
They'd rush to the show, creating a great hurly-burley.
They'd hustle in to see the most exciting CTI stuff,
But the Grinch was pretty cocky, as he sat there on his bluff,
"I must stop the I in CTI, this CTI show will I stop.
"I say to you, 'enough is enough,' without the I's it will surely flop."

"Oh that show floor will be bustling with people wanting to buy,
"People pushing and shoving to see the latest in CTI.
"Oh that show floor madness, everyone so busy, it drives me mad,
"Don't they know this CTI thing is nothing, it's just a fad.

"Pushing and pushing, just to get a peek at the latest in CTI.
Oh how they'll jostle en masse, crowding vendors at each booth, to learn and to buy,
Don't these people realize I'm doing it for them, that CTI is evil,
Especially that I in CTI. Just one letter behind all this upheaval."

The noise would rise up slowly from below, down at CTI Expo
Every CTI man would cheer and clap at the close of the show.
And then the Grich would shrink from the words he had come to fear most of all!
"Another resounding success," they'd say, "We had an absolute ball!"

They'd clap! And they'd clap!
And they'd clap! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
And the more he thought of what the I in CTI would bring,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must put a stop to this whole I thing."
Then he thought, "I know just what I will do: The I, I will eschew.
"I'll tell people the I in CTI is evil, the term CT will do."

And so the night before the show's opening,
Through San Jose he went interloping.
The Grinch snuck into the convention center, evil on his mind,
"I'll blot out all the I's," he said, "each and every one I'll find!"

A paintbrush in one hand, and a bucket of paint in the other,
Grinch to himself thought, "This sure is going to take awhile… Oh brother!"
For he saw hundreds of CTI signs everywhere he looked,
Every last scrap, every inch of floor space must surely be booked.
The Grinch painted all night long, painting over the I's, one by one,
It was early next morning before the Grinch was finally done.

But he missed one gigantic CTI sign
There was one he simply did not find,
It could be seen for miles and miles, just outside the convention hall,
Hanging down outside the building, it could be seen by one and all.

After climbing up a ladder with his final target in sight,
The Grinch's heart swelled up with the most sinister of all delights.
But before he could paint over the I, hanging on the outside wall,
Someone yelled at him, "What are you doing?" causing him to slip and fall.

Off of the ladder he slipped, and down to the pavement he headed most gravely,
When to the rescue came this mysterious figure who caught him safely.
Thankful at having escaped such a sad end,
"My God," exclaimed Grinch, "an angel did Thee send!"

"Not quite," said the mysterious figure, "Why don't you recognize me, Mr. Grinch?"
"No I don't," replied the Grinch. "Are you some sprite or fairy from near Ballynahinch?"
"It's me CTI guy!" Now the Grinch was quite confused how his mortal enemy could save him. "Why did you save me, CTI guy - you could have let me break every limb?"

He continued, "You know I hate CTI, especially that I."
CTI Guy responded,
"Oh Mr. Grinch, how misinformed you are, don't be so despondent,
"Don't you know you can make millions in CTI?
"There is so much technology they need to buy.
"Dataquest claims by 2000, a six-billion-dollar industry it will be.
"So many success stories, Mr. Grinch, just open your eyes and you will see!
"I've got a great idea for a product, I'm willing to give you a piece of the pie.
"Join me and become part of the industry known around the world as CTI."

And the Grinch lit up with dollar signs in his eyes, his eyes on the prize,
He shouted, "Did I say CTI was evil? Someone has fed me lies!
"Let's together, you and I, CTI Guy,
"Celebrate CTI products that everyone buys!"

And so our story concludes happily, and with a little luck,
Mr. Grinch will see the I in each CTI product,
Then joy will reign wide as it does among CTI VARs
So, like Mr. Grinch, just stick with the I and become a CTI star!
I surrender! I surrender! Just as Captain Kirk begrudgingly surrendered the Enterprise, as of today I have surrendered my corporate email account to the spammers. Spammers can have my email address, which has become completely overwhelmed with spam. As of today it will bounce back as 'System Undeliverable' and I have chosen a new tmcnet.com email address. Sure my friends, contacts, and all my Web signups will be caught up in what some may deem a draconian tactic, until they find my new email, but that's it - I’ve had it! Enough of the spam!

I have had the same corporate email account since the Internet started to take off in 1994. Thus, I have had the same email address for nearly 13 years which must be in just about every spam list you can think of. I get nearly 500 spam emails per day, which has rendered my corporate email account a productivity killer instead of a productivity enhancer. You're probably thinking I'm exaggerating with my 500 email claim, since everyone loves to bitch/whine , as well as exaggerate about how much spam they get.

And so I have included proof via a screenshot below that includes every single spam from yesterday (Thursday) totalling 465 emails. Click the screenshot for a full image that will measure 504 x 6649 pixels. That's a mighty big graphic height-wise (6649), so when you first load the full image you'll have to Zoom in just to read the text.

My Daily Spam


Even though I have deployed anti-spam measures on the Exchange Server (GFI MainEssentials) to tag spam, it’s only ~95% accurate, which means some spam gets through as well as false positives that get lumped in with hundreds of other spam I still have to sift through. I’m also using DNSBL (DNS email blacklists) which catches a lot of spam, but not all.

In addition, I also have iHateSpam antispam software installed on my mail client as well as my own custom Outlook email rules. This means I have 4 anti-spam Maginot lines of defense against spammers -- and still it is not enough. Just as the French’s Maginot Line was easily overwhelmed by the Germans, resulting in France’s quick surrender, my anti-spam Maginot line is no match for the spammers blitzkrieg attacks.

My email productivity has gotten worse over the years due to the exponentially increasing spam. It’s much worse than the productivity that it hurts -- receiving tons of spam affects your entire mood and morale. I dread going into work in the morning and having to sift through hundreds of spam emails. It is truly frustrating. My Irish stubbornness often kicks in and I take the battle against the evil spammers personally. Thus, I try and do battle against the l spam onslaught by periodically checking email at night when I am home. This way at least my morning Inbox is more manageable. and I haven’t started my work day ticked off that it took me 30 minutes to sift through all my email. But when my work bleeds into my personal life for unproductive work such as sifting through spam – then enough is enough. On occasion I have seriously considered leaving TMC just so I could have a clean email address and start fresh. It's that frustrating to me.

And thus, I have surrendered my email address. Yes, I know I am "cutting and running". So? Let the evil spammers have their way with my email account, I just don’t care any more. Let them waste their own treasure and bandwidth fighting over my non-existent email – see if I care. Oh and by the way, I think President Bush needs to add spammers to his Axis of Evil list – seriously. If President Bush were able to solve the worldwide spam problem his ratings would soar.

Well, I have a new email address and I'm loving it. Ahhh, no blitzkrieg of spam. No more hammering the Delete key in frustration. A nice clean Inbox. It’s truly a liberating experience.

To quote William Wallace from BraveHeart…
F R E E E D O M !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Note: Below is an embedded WAV file containing the Star Trek Surrender snippet, then a delaying playing of the famous Braveheart 'freedom' quote. Doesn't always work in Firefox)

Megan is just too cute for words

November 1, 2006 2:23 PM | 0 Comments
It's not often I share personal photos on my blog's home page. I prefer to stick to the tech news, reviews, etc. but I couldn't resist sharing these two adorable pictures of my daughter, Megan. Watching her mentally develop is just as exciting as testing some newfandangled gadget. The first photo was one of the first times Megan learned how to reach out and pet our dog, Jessie. Though Megan's "petting" was more like "slapping". Fortunately, Jessie has a sweet disposition, so she doesn't seem to mind Megan's uncoordinated slap petting.

 

My Encounter with a Chupacabra

July 12, 2006 10:13 AM | 5 Comments
Let me tell you the story of my encounter with what could have been the famed chupacabra - also known as the goat sucker from its reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock. Late one evening, I let my dog Jessie outside to pee. It was a nice warm evening so I stepped outside to check out the stars. As I stepped outside onto my deck, I saw 50 feet to my left what looked like red fire or a small red flame in some bushes, but the bush wasn't being consumed. I know what you're thinking - Tom Keating thinks he's Moses!! [Exodus 3: 2-4 God appears to Moses in the form of a "bush on fire that does not burn up" and calls to him]

These bushes line a 3 foot high rock wall that parallels the condos and with a steep 100 foot incline just feet behind the bushes. The red dots were too small and not spreading so I immediately discounted any "burning bush" or "God wants to speak to me" theories. Curious, I walked barefoot onto the grass to go check it out. I got to within 2 feet of the two red lights and I still couldn't figure out what it was. But the best way to describe the color is that they looked very similar to a red laser pointer only much bigger. The lights were perfectly symmetrical and separated by a distance of only 1.75-3 inches apart and they appeared to me to be the eyes of an animal.

However, I know of no "proven" animal that has red luminescent eyes. Sure, if you shine a bright light onto some animals (dogs, cats) you can get a reflective glow, but it was pitch black out with no light source that I could see. The only animal that I knew about that has red eyes is the rumored Chupacabra. I remembered learning about the Chupacabra on the TV show Sightings. The Chupacabra even made an appearance on one of my favorite series of all times - the X-Files. According to the Wiki, "Some reports claim the chupacabra's red eyes have the ability to hypnotize and paralyze their prey—the prey animal is mentally stunned, allowing the chupacabras to suck the animal's blood at its leisure." Well if I can avoid being hypnotized by the red lights and catch and prove that the Chupacabra exists, I'd be famous.

Some might speculate that it could have been a reflection off a mirror or something. This is not a plausible theory. There is a huge steep incline just behind the bushes so if there was some light source reflecting of a mirror, then the light source would have to be located in front of the bushes where I stood. I stood at every conceivable angle in front of the lights up to one foot away. If it was a reflection of some sort, it would reflect light differently depending on the angle I stood and I would also block the light with my body at some point, which didn't happen.

So getting back to the story - I inched my face closer and closer to the red lights (each about 1/2 - 2/3 of an inch). The red lights were perfectly still. I started to reach my hand out to touch the lights, with my heart pounding and knowing that whatever it was could probably see me better than I could see it. As my hand got to just inches away I heard this low growl coming from the lights... or at least I thought I hear a growl, but I couldn't really be sure. I thought my mind might have imagined it or it could have been my dog that was standing near me. My heart leapt into my throat and I held my hand motionless, still just inches away. Part of me, the daring and curious side, still wanted to know what the heck this thing was. I remember thinking "Should I just quickly grab it?", while the other side of me was thinking "You value your hand, right?"

Just as I was debating what to do, the red lights turned off - simultaneously. The way they turned off looked like it was an animal closing its eyelids. The circular red dots didn't just go off instantly. Rather, the top of the red dot was blackened first and the red light going off progressed downward, as would happen if you slowly closed your eyes. Now I was really freaked out. It looked precisely like eyelids slowly covering red luminescent eyeballs.

I stood there motionless for another couple of minutes waiting to hear a rustle in the bushes but I heard nothing and I saw nothing. I then quickly went back into my condo and retrieved a flashlight. I went back to the bush, shined the flashlight and saw…

nothing. Whatever it was - was now gone. I was very disappointed I didn't figure out what the heck it was. If it was indeed a chupacbra, I missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Of course, there is probably a much more rational explanation for what I saw. I've used every ounce of my computer engineering brain to figure out what this was. I Googled every conceivable combination of "red lights animal", "red eyes creature", etc. Nothing.

It has now officially been almost 4 years since I saw these mysterious red lights. I even remember the date - Tuesday, August 6th, 2002 and of course the location - Norwalk condos on Flax Hill Road. I returned at the same exact time several nights in a row to see if whatever it was would return, but it never did.  

I even told my then fiance', Nicole, that if she solved the mystery I'd buy her an engagement ring. She wasn't able to figure it out, so she had to wait another 6 months before I proposed. She knows that I was only kidding with her, but I really wanted to know what these lights were. If anyone has any theories on what I saw, feel free to post a comment. Until then, I'm sticking with my Chupacabra theory.

(X-Files Theme snippet:)

Keating's Blast from the past

July 11, 2006 11:16 AM | 6 Comments
Doreen Orsatti and Tom KeatingSome high school friends of mine sent me a photo of me with my senior semi date Doreen Orsatti. One of the more intriguing things I remember about Doreen is that she was fearful of highways since she didn't like high speed. She closed her eyes all the way from Waterbury on RT 8 until I got off the exit for the senior semi and I was on my best driving behavior. No quick sprints up to 165mph or anything like that. I can't imagine how she'd react today in my 450HP Viper. I guess it's a good thing we broke up and I married a fellow speed freak (Nicole) instead.

I can't believe that was me in 1989. Damn I was skinny. And would you take a look at those Coke bottle glasses? Like I told my friends, "What kind of friends are you guys? Why the hell didn’t you guys tell me to get normal looking glasses? Those things are friggin goggles!"

Well, at least I'm much cooler looking now. Ok, maybe not. I'm still a geek. But at least I'm no longer a 140lb skinny geek. I'm a 190lb, 15lb overweight geek!

Take a gander at the table shot photo below. Look at all the guys' mullets and the ladies' poofy 80's Aqua Net hair! Ah yes, the 80s were the pinnacle of fashion and culture. What a blast the 80s were. Can we bring back the mullet? Please? Hey, if bellbottoms can make a comeback, don't discount the power of the mullet!
Seymour High School Senior Semi
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