Recently in E-Business Category

I received the following spoof e-mail today, purportedly from a colleage:

Dude,
I found your email from whois info of a web page that was used in spam and illigal activity,
please do something or you will be sued and busted. Was very dumb to leave your email, a**hole!
P.S Attached file is self-exatracting archive with information about your criminal activity.

Of course, our spam filters eliminated the virus, but left the text behind. All I can say is...I'm glad spammers are such illiterate losers...it helps those of us who have real jobs to spot them easily and their "illigal" activities. Dude.

TES

An article that appears in the NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/07/technology/07blog.html?_r=1&oref=login) today discusses the fact that Walmart appears to be employing bloggers to post positive comments about the media-challenged company.

My experience with Walmart and the blogosphere is rather different. A blog I posted last year about bad Walmart customer service has drawn a tirade of negative comments about the retail supergiant by readers. This truly is the company that everybody loves to hate. And until Walmart figures out why it deserves a lot of this criticism, it will continue to operate in the "point the gun, aim for the foot" method of publicity that it seems to enjoy.

Here's a link to the commentary on Walmart: http://blog.tmcnet.com/walmart-customer-service.asp

Enjoy.

TES

It seems that 10 years after he began "serving" the online community, Ask Jeeves' iconic butler (that would be Jeeves) is being retired from the Ask.com Web site.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4701474.stm

It seems he annoys IAC/InterActive (Ask's parent company) CEO Barry Diller.

Having once worked as an editor for a Simon & Schuster company sacrified on the block by Barry Diller, I can, without ambiguity, state that Barry Diller, in fact, annoys me.

Bye, Jeeves.

TES

It's that time again...to begin economically dissecting the results from the 2005 holiday shopping season. From what I gather reading business news, the in-person retail results were a constant, "break even" level, and the online holiday shopping levels once again exceeded expectations...$30.1 billion according to Goldman, Sachs & Co., Nielsen//NetRatings and Harris Interactive.

The same survey detailed something very interesting...82 percent of respondents said they would be less likely to return to a site where they had a frustrating shopping experience, and nearly a third said that a frustrating experience when shopping online would make them less likely to buy at that retailer’s physical store. 

With numbers like that, you'd think companies would be falling over themselves to improve their online shopping experience. But then, we all know that there's a big disconnect between what companies "ought" and what they do.

Read the full survey summary here: www.allurent.com

TES

You have to love the bizarre results you get sometimes on Google. A case in point: a friend of mine turns 40 in about two weeks. This particular friend has a strange attraction to ducks, and as I've been designated bartender at the 40th birthday bash, I'm searching for some "gummy duck" candies to float in drinks. (They have gummy everything-else, so why not ducks?)

My Google search for a confectioner who makes gummy ducks led to this result in the paid Google ads:

DISCOUNT DUCK CANDY

New & Used Selection. www.ebay.com

I'll skip the used candy, thanks. I'll splurge and buy it new.

TES

I got a pleasant surprise this morning listening to Connecticut Public Radio. Back in June, Connecticut governor Jodi Rell signed a law allowing Connecticut consumers to place a temporary freeze on their credit (while they're not using it, so to speak) so I.D. thieves cannot credit cards or other accounts in unsuspecting consumers' names. (I must have missed this news at the time.) The law goes into effect on January 1st, and makes Connecticut only the second state (after California) in which consumers can use this temporary credit freeze to protect themselves.

Another reason to be glad we got rid of former Connecticut governor John Rowland, who is languishing in the hoose-gow at this holiday time.

TES

Talk about bizarre e-mail marketing. I just got the following e-mail from Virgin Atlantic, which I think I've flown once in my life. My comments have been inserted...in bold.

Dear Tracey,

Has a phone call from Richard Branson been on your holiday wish list as long as you can remember? [No, never...not even that time I took all that cough medicine with codeine.] Whether you've been naughty or nice this year, your wish is about to be granted - he's waiting by the phone! [Why? Is he waiting for a return call from NASA to find out if the space shuttle fleet is for sale?]

Of course, we knew a plain old greeting card just wouldn't do for you this season. You're so special to us [that single coach flight to London I took with them in 1999 must have really impressed them], and have been such a big part of our success this year that we couldn't think of a better way to thank you than to have the big guy himself [who, God?] call you with a message of holiday cheer.

To have Richard give you a phone call, please visit virginatlantic.com/RingMeRichard and let him know the best time to reach you [next time he has two free first-class tickets to London to give me, that would be a good time]. Then, snuggle up with a steamy mug of hot cocoa or a nicely chilled cocktail, and "ring" in the season!

Happy holidays from The Virgin Atlantic team.

Well now. I just don't know what to say.

TES

I just got an e-mail from an organization that shall remain nameless. The newsletter announced the organization's upcoming seminar on marketing techniques and copywriting.

The title of the e-mail? Something along the lines of, "Learn To Write Impactful Copy".

I've got news! "Impactful" is not only not a word, it's an appalling and egregious crime against the English language. And you would like to teach me copywriting?

Is that like politicians teaching classes on ethics and honesty, or Krispy Kreme offering classes on eating "Heart Smart"?

TES

Am I the only one annoyed lately with the amount of news stories on CNN, MSNBC and other sites that are presented in streaming video format? Some days, it seems like half the links lead to video, not text.

If I wanted video, I'd watch the TV news. At any given moment, I have 5 minutes to get a quick view of what's going on in the world. I don't want to spend 4 of them waiting for streaming video to buffer in and then listening to Barbie and Ken at the news desk making chit-chat as a prelude to the story.

TES

The word "podcast" has officially been accepted in the New Oxford American Dictionary. The word is defined as "a digital recording of a radio broadcast or similar program, made available on the internet for downloading to a personal audio player".

But we shouldn't be too impressed. Homer Simpson's famous expression "D'oh!" made it in a few years ago. It seems a suitable expression to accompany personal technology.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4504256.stm

TES