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Carburetors = Fondling?

August 1, 2005

Yep, I suppose the comparison was inevitable, and we have a Microsoft analyst to thank.

Microsoft analyst Dan McKay has won an annual contest that celebrates bad writing, as reported by AP, and he did so by comparing fixing carburetors to fondling a woman’s breasts.

The California San Jose State University contest for 23 years has challenged entrants to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. It was inspired by 19th century novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who opened his 1830 novel Paul Clifford with what have become immortal words: “It was a dark and stormy night.

McKay’s�entry wins him $250: As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.”�

Thank you, Microsoft, for any inspiration provided to McKay and his insightful/ridiculous anecdote.

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DRB



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