The Readerboard

There are several things I hope for before I get on an airplane. One, that I won't be seated between two arm-rest hogs. I also hope for basic hygiene from my seat companions, which includes restraint from engaging in any bodily function that causes smells or extraordinary noises. Third, I usually hope to avoid being seated next to an infant who has just discovered the delights of using his or her lungs and vocal chords to maximum capacity; or a small child with an upset tummy, a bad case of motion sickness and uncanny projectile aim.