Topfive: Does This Make Me Look Fat?

I have been subscribing to the Top5 comedy list on and off for about 10 years and sometimes the lists are pretty funny. Rarely are they funny and clean enough for me to pass along. Today’s list which is a repeat of an old list was worth sharing.
It should be noted the lists are never 5 in length and if you want to get these lists e-mailed to you check out
Today’s list was originally published on April 8, 2003.
The Top 16 Poor Responses to the Question
"Does This Make Me Look Fat?"
16 "Not to Stevie Wonder."
15 "Big time! That’s why I’m sleeping with your best friend."
14 "Does this tie make me look stupid?"
13 "No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
12 "I guess there’s not much point in asking if you mean fat with an ‘f’ or phat with a ‘ph.’"
11 "No hablo ingles."
10 "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."
9 "No, but taking it *off* sure does."
8 "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
7 "Okay, listen: What’s important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
6 "Not if you were traveling at the speed of light."
5 "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
4 "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
3 "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."
2 "Whoa! A talking couch!!"
and’s Number 1 Poor Response to the  Question "Does This Make Me Look Fat?"…
1 "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"

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